Saturday, September 15, 2007
Creditor Call: Final Notice
Bone is for the dog, meat is for the man!
OMGH Courtesy Creditor Call
Don't tell us you can't afford your OMGH Charity Fine, Lindsey.
Salary
Just My Luck (2006)
$7,500,000
Mean Girls (2004)
$1,000,000
Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004)
$1,000,000
Freaky Friday (2003)
$550,000
Lindsey Lohan owes OMGH Charity: $117,000 for a total of 12 fuck-ups, by OMGH standards.
OJ's lesser pocket book calls for Larry H. Parker
OJ accused of another crime. Larry H. Parker is calling.
You know, I'm sorry I have to throw this in... even after 13 years I still can't believe Nicole is no longer with us. Damn, she was fine. I understand OJ believed she was a slut. I'm sure she deserved to be choked out once in a while. But murder? It's a valuable life lesson to kids, to never... oh wow I didn't notice I put that particular picture up of Nicole. Where was I?... Oh the lesson.... Damn, she was fine. Why did you have be a slut, Nicole. Dammit, why!?!?
Friday, September 14, 2007
Make it a Matt Damon day
One X One founder Joelle Berdugo Adler said having Damon take part in the gala "means the world."
Rosie version 6.0
Rosie gets the award for making the fastest friends turned fastest enemies. The former Queen of all Media has been reduced to a pissed-off-liberal-lesbian-homemaker.
You know I remember watching Rosie in the early 90's as a stand-up Comedian. She appeared regularly on Arsenio Hall. Hilarious. Her skinny, sexually-ambiguous 1.0 version. Now we're to 6.0 - wired for max gayness and liberalism that even makes Hilary Clinton shutter.
The Official OMGH Charitable Foundation
Celebrity must owe the OMGH charity the amount listed if...
Dates another celeb just to "up their fuck": $8,000
(uhem, J-Lo)
Marries another celeb just to "up their fuck": $20,000
(uhem, Catherine Z. J... you're not fooling me, bitch)
*up their fuck=an attempt to become more famous by association
Caught on camera spouting inapproriate or utterly stupid things: $2,000-$1,000,000
(as low as a Paris Hilton to a Kramer from Seinfeld... this penalty is per sentance, not just an entire conversation. See below, Miss Paris owes us $30,000)
Caught on camera without make-up (monster sighting): $6,500
(i swear to God, Oprah... You're still giving me nightmares)
Create sex tape: $35,000
Commit felony or higher crime: $125,000
Appear on MTV cribs: $10,000
Not allowed entrance to an A-rated celeb hangout: $4,000
(argh, that simple-minded American Pie actress... of course I don't know her name... i would shoot myself if i did... oh fuck, it's Tera Ried... fuck me, I remembered!)
Extravagant Expense: $50,000 luxury tax for every 1million spent or 5%
(thank you hip hop world for this one! as we would be receiving donations from names like Lil' Cucamonga, DJ Roughie Rough, & Killa Wang)
Converts to Scientology: $283,037.15
(why such an amount?... fuck 'em, that's why... let those bastards figure out how to fit 15 cents on that second line of their check)
There are many more... many more. We will let our celebrities present them to you every day.
The OMGH Charity raises money to assist communities around the world - please see on the right.